Pretty Maids All in a Row

   Who doesn't have a closet full of old bridesmaid's dresses? Think you'll ever wear them again? Yeah, right. I'll bet even money that most of them will end up being donated to charity, find their way to a dress-up box, or be dropped off at Goodwill. You might hang on to them for a while, but let's face it, most of them are not what you envision yourself EVER wearing again. But darn! You did spend a lot of money on that dress...

    What's a bride to do? I think my daughter-in-law (the one who married the oldest son in March) was one wise woman. She told her bridesmaids to wear a black dress. Period. The length, the cut or the fabric were up to each individual. Some of the girls purchased new dresses just because they wanted to. The Daughter wore a dress that she already had in her closet as did another bridesmaid. And one girl wore a dress that (gasp) she had worn in another wedding. They all looked beautiful. Here's a shot that showcases the variety of dresses and hemlines.

And here are the pretty maids all in a row, with the gorgeous bride, of course!

   And here are some other weddings where the bridesmaids wore attire that certainly looked as though they would be likely to be worn again rather than ending up stuffed somewhere in the back of the closet.

Same color, but each girl has chosen her own figure flattering style

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Here's proof that even patterns can work

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Here is a selection of color palettes with similar hues

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Source: Uploaded by user via Lauren on Pinterest

Here's to mixing it up with purples and grays

Or shades of green

If individuality is your thing, then allowing your bridesmaids more 

latitude in their dress selections might be a choice you want to consider and embrace!

Two Peas in a Pod

this photo was taken by my cousin: barbarabanks.com

   The twins are 83 years old today. My Momma was born first, followed minutes later by her sister. For 83 years, they have been the mirror image of one another. These inimitable women were born at the onset of the Great Depression when double births were a rarity, a marvel, and a curiosity. They had individual names, of course, but most people just referred to them as The Twins or used an amalgamation of their two names. My grandmother loved dressing them alike, and they wore similar outfits into adulthood.

My grandparents with the twins. In order to tell them apart, my mother is usually on the left!

Here they are pictured with their favorite cowpoke, their brother.
Of course, the sisters are dressed alike, down to their socks
and their matching dolls!

Matching flowergirls with their ringbearer brother in  a great-aunt's wedding!

   They were precious little girls who grew into beautiful women. They attended the same college, joined the same sorority and both majored in education. My mother was the first to marry the love of her life and to embark upon a journey that led her to places afar. My aunt followed suit a couple of years later. They each bore daughters (my mom had three daughters, my aunt had two) and each firstborn was given the name of the other twin. Their lives were certainly different, but they both eventually traded their jobs in the classroom for careers as media specialists (aka librarians). They spent their summers together at the Big House in Fort Walton with extended family which afforded us, the cousins, the opportunity to become as close as sisters.


 It is an understatement to say that my Momma and her sister have a lot in common. When our mothers are together, we, their children, are always surprised by the commonality in expressions and mannerisms, yet we seldom, if ever, get them confused.


   Even though my Momma is a mirror image of her sister, she is my one and only Momma, and a one of a kind to me. I am thankful for her personality, her love, her sacrifice, and all of the unique things that make up the essence of who she is. She may have been born a twin, but God only made one mother that I joyfully claim as my own. Happy Birthday, Momma dear! I love you so...

Check out the uncanny mimicry...this was NOT posed!

The Offering of Worship

    My heart and flesh cry out to you, the Living God....

Nothing in my hands I bring, simply to thy cross I cling...

     Whom have I in heaven but thee, and beside thee I desire nothing on earth. 

My heart and flesh are weak and may fail, but the Lord is the strength of my heart

As the deer panteth for the water, so my heart longeth after thee...

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He hath made everything beautiful in its own time

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What is man that thou art mindful of him?

We are like the grass that flowers and withers and fades...

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But the Word of the Lord endureth forever...

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Survival Summer Skills for Overwhelmed Mothers Part Two

     Back by popular demand, here are my " Tips on Surviving Summer":  I am laughing when I write this, but I remember that my husband and I actually invited friends over for a casual summer supper and served...hot dogs! Yep, hot dogs. Except back then we called them "tube steaks" as that was about the only kind of steak we could ever afford to serve, much less eat. I also fixed that culinary delight known as baked beans as a side, accompanied by that other Southern stand-by, Lay's Potato Chips. I do recall that I put out chili, slaw, cheese, onions, pickle relish, and the obligatory condiments as "toppings" for the humble hot dogs. Dessert was really fancy...ice cream sandwiches and freezer pops. I think they still make freezer pops. 

  Freezer are a food group all by themselves. Colored water, dyed with something carcinogenic like Red Dye #2, sugar, and some unnamed preservative that is probably no longer approved by the FDA. I used to buy them by the box, and in the summer I kept a pair of elementary school scissors in the drawer next to the freezer so the kids could cut them open themselves.  
   The reason I tell you this is so that you will know that it is okay to entertain on a grand scale with four small children. I mean, hot dogs...don't you know that I slaved away in the kitchen for hours over that one...NOT! So, open your hearts and your homes and make it easy and fun for your friends to come over. It's actually funny to me that hot dogs are making a comeback. Of course now we only buy Nathan's All Beef...but really, you cannot get around the fact that it is still a hot dog no matter what kind of spin you put on it.
  Here's another round of suggestions for you Moms.
1) Do what you can to beat the heat by buying not one, but two baby pools.

 Seriously, some of the best afternoons were spent with the babies in one pool and the moms lounging in the other. And yes, we wore our "rattiest" suits. The ones you don't want to be seen in in public. And it helps if you have a friend who has a great recipe for strawberry daiquiries. We put the cooler in the pool with the adults and kept the daiquiries on ice. We only allowed ourselves one and a half at the most because someone had to keep a watchful eye on the kids, just in case they fell over face first in the six inches of water in their pool. Oh, and it helps if you have water balloons, water guns, or some other crazy game for the older ones. Make sure you applaud loudly, whatever they do. Mine were largely content as long as they had their friends over and were the beneficiary of the mostly positive affirmation from the mothers.
2) Don't forget the sprinkler. You can fill both pools and then set up some sort of homemade slip and slide (use an old tarp) or sprinkler game for the older kids. We also used to run our bikes and big wheels through the sprinkler for a "car wash." I kept buckets loaded with dish soap and sponges for this bi-weekly event.
2) Religiously attend the weekly story hour at your local library. My kids loved, loved, loved the puppet shows. The older ones tried to act like they were too old or too cool, but they never argued when I said that we were going. They also were allowed to get their own library cards (talk about feeling important) and could check out as many books as they could carry. And they had to rob their own piggy banks to pay their own fines if the books were late so I was the one who usually proved to be the worst offender in this regard.
3) We also made summer pilgrimages to visit Daddy in his office every three weeks or so and went out to lunch with him. The Husband worked downtown and we usually ate at the neighboring Burger King but everything was more exotic and fun because it was in the "city."
4) Vacation Bible School. I had one friend whose children attended three different Vacation Bible Schools each summer: Methodist, Baptist and Presbyterian. That way she knew that the material and crafts would all be different, and her children would not be bored. I always volunteered to work in our home church VBS, but I soon learned that coordinating the refreshments for the various classes was a whole lot easier for me than teaching. And since I was employed full-time in a school, I didn't feel too bad about sidestepping the duties in the classroom. I can unashamedly tell you that VBS was a lifesaver for me for many years! And do NOT feel pressured to teach or serve if this is not for you. God will let you give back in other ways!
5) Back yard camp-out and nightime flashlight walks. We first introduced camping to our children by pitching the tent in the backyard. We also made it a ritual to take nightime walks around the neighborhood with flashlights whenever we had friends spend the night (even if we slept inside). There is something magical that happens when you turn on a flashlight at night, for the ordinary can become the spectacular. I bought my flashlights and batteries at the Dollar Store so that everyone could have their own to tote around.

6) Hire a "Mother's Helper." This is a younger girl who will come over and play with your children while you are at home; she will generally occupy your children while you are scurrying around trying to get things done. The Mother's Helper is a girl who is too young to babysit on her own for four children, but is an individual who will do well with some adult supervision. The beauty of this arrangement is that these girls do not charge as much as an older babysitter does. The blessing for us was that our "Mother's Helper" started with us when she was in the seventh grade; she stayed with us as a babysitter and then became a housesitter when she was in college. She even ended up accompanying us on family vacations to Florida which proved to be the gift of gifts for me. In Florida we gave her two afternoons and two evenings off,  but the rest of the time she was there to entertain the children (who loved her) and to make life easier for everyone. Looking back, I would say that hiring a Mother's Helper was one of the best things I ever did, hands down!
7) Make time for yourself. Even if you can only carve 2-3 hours out per week, it is a necessity. I think I would have lost my mind otherwise. I usually did not have a "Mother's Day Out" program in the summer, so time away became a rare, but necessary commodity. Fortunately, my husband understood my need for the company of other adults, and he was usually willing to accommodate me in this regard, by allowing me to hire a babysitter; but if this does not work for you, then trade off with a friend. You take hers and then she will take yours! Then it's a win-win!
8) Find a prayer partner. I had a friend that I could call at anytime and tell her to pray. She did not need the details; she was willing to hit her knees on my behalf, and I would do the same for her. This proved to be an important investment in my spiritual growth. I cannot tell you the times that I just needed to know that she was praying for me. It brought me comfort and encouragement on the most difficult of days, and trust me, there were many.
9) Cut yourself some slack EVERY SINGLE DAY. Do not make the mistake of setting impossible goals. A clean house, happy children and a productive mother are not synonymous. Remember in post number one that Supermom has been put to death. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and say, "I think I can, I know I can...I can get through THIS day!" I cannot tell you how many times I said to myself, "His Grace is sufficient for ME!"
9) Know that God is faithful. I look back and can see His hand everywhere, but at the time I wondered if I would ever have a life that did not comprise of saying "No No, NO," endlessly or attempting to discipline or teach children when they absolutely did not want to be taught. I seriously contemplated running away numerous times, but something always held me back. Perhaps it was a future that seemed so far off, but one that has finally arrived. And it will come for you, I promise! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! I convinced that there will be a special banquet room for mothers in heaven! I will see you there!

Summer Survival Skills for Overwhelmed Mothers

  I recently had an email from a younger woman who has four young children. She was asking me for advice on how to survive the summer. In a flash I was back to those days...by those days, I mean those days I barely survived. I am reaping the rewards now of having four adult children who are relatively close in age, and although I was absolutely certain at the time that they were going to kill each other before they reached maturity...shock of shock...they actually all get along now.
   I wish I could offer all sorts of sage advice, but I would run the risk of sounding like those years were easy, but trust me, they were not. At one time, I had three children under the age of four. I do remember that I cried a lot, and I prayed a lot, and I regularly engaged in my favorite form of escape: reading, even if it meant losing a night or two of sleep!
   For what it's worth, here are some of the things that worked for me:
   1) Supermom has to die. She, multiple young children, and sanity are simply not compatible. This was a process for me, of course, but one that did eventually occur. However, my advice is to crucify her early. Have a burial and a period of mourning and then get on with your very messy and very busy life. Because if you have multiple children, that's what you have...a very messy and very busy life.
   2) Close the bedroom doors. Do this every day. I mean it. This was something my husband forced me to do. At the time, I resisted with everything I had (sneaking upstairs to moan and clean, moan and clean and moan some more about my slovenly children), but now I am so thankful. One of my adult children has moved home again (he will be attending a local graduate school) and I have not been upstairs since he moved back in. Seriously. I found I was a whole lot happier then and now looking at closed doors rather than unmade beds and chaotic bedrooms.
   3) Make them clean their rooms when one or more of the children has company coming over. This was a requirement for having a friend over. The room must be clean. And no, it did not have to be clean when the friend left, but it was good if it was clean when the friend arrived. I encouraged company. Can you guess why?
   4) Ten-year-olds can safely operate a washing machine. They will quickly learn how not to make everything come out pink. Especially when they are the one wearing it. Every one of my kids learned to do their own wash at some point, but the youngest was flying solo between nine and ten. It was actually a source of pride with him. I can honestly say I don't think I ever washed one of his sports' uniforms (he played four varsity sports in high school so there were a lot of uniforms); he did them all. Now his beat-up jalopy car smelled to high heaven because he never took his dirty uniforms out to wash them until the very last minute before they were needed, but he totally handled this task. He would even have discussions with other mothers about how to get dirt out of baseball socks. It was hilarious. It made me proud. 
5) Only buy white socks. I used to go to the flea market and buy socks in bulk. I had three sons and one daughter so this worked relatively well. When they were younger, I would wash the socks and put them all in the basket LOOSE; that's right, they were never paired up. I kept the basket in the hall closet upstairs. I called it "Sock Heaven," but my children, when they thought I could not hear them, called it "Sock Hell." Long story short: no one in my family ever grew up thinking that white socks had to match. They just went and pulled two white socks out of the basket and wore them. I never spent time trying to match socks that the dryer ate. End of story.
   6) Laundry baskets. Everybody had their own which were clearly labeled. They came downstairs with dirty clothes in them and went upstairs with clean, nicely folded clothes in them. Remember that the doors to their bedrooms were closed, so most of the time I am relatively sure that they took their clean clothes out and put them on the floor...not in the dresser...on the floor. If their basket was empty when I was doing the wash, nothing of theirs got washed. I mean nothing. Everybody learned pretty quickly to gather up their dirty clothes and get them downstairs when Momma was washing. If they did this, they got a free wash and a free fold. Otherwise, they were on their own. And by the time that they were in middle school, they were pretty much on their own anyway. Don't worry, I still had plenty of wash. And I still offered free wash to them when I was being nice.
   7) Bathrooms were an exception to the close the door rule. No towels or dirty clothes were allowed on the floor. With all four kids sharing one bathroom this was simply a survival rule. We rotated cleaning the bathroom, but The Daughter always felt that the boys did a less than a stellar job with this, and I would agree. There was also a lot of drama (accompanied by loud voices and the banging of doors) associated with the bathroom and a lot of arguing about the length of showers or a lack of hot water. I tried to ignore most of it, but you can betcha I got up before everyone else just so that there was enough hot water for Momma.
  8) Kitchen and trash chores were about the only chores we ever rigorously enforced. The youngest would go around and empty all the smaller trash cans in the house the night before the garbage man came (he has rotated back into this job again, fancy that!) Older children had to alternate setting the table, clearing the table, and washing up with The Husband from dinner. Oh, and did I mention that my children would hide food? This is something that they have apparently not outgrown. Not too long ago I found one lonely IBC root beer hidden underneath the lettuce in the veggie bin. One of the boys. Ummm, make that grown men.
   9) We even had a schedule for rotating the seats in the car (everybody wanted to ride shotgun) that was posted on the refrigerator. Otherwise, there was even more drama and sometimes all-out fights, over a front seat, for heaven's sake!
  10) I lived and died by the calendar and by the word of God. Seriously. I had a big dry erase calendar that I bought at Office Depot and each week I filled it with the week's activities. This was my one huge obsession. It was color coded with each child's activities. (I warned you this was my huge obsession.) And boy, oh boy, you better not brush your arm up against my dry erase board and mess up my calendar. I also memorized scripture that I wrote out on index cards and taped up in my car. I tried to make my kids memorize scripture but they were never as excited about it as I was. I had my little stash of index cards, and I cannot tell you how many times I marveled that the perfect scripture was there on my dashboard just when I needed it.
   11) A friend and I started a Bible Study for "Mothers of Four or More." We met weekly in the evenings with a group of women for the better part of ten years. It was a lifesaver. We cried together, laughed together, and commiserated together. The best part was that we took a retreat together every year without children. It was usually to a cabin that belonged to somebody's friend who knew a friend who said we could use it. It didn't matter whether the accommodations were spartan or more comfortable, the big thing is that we were simply AWAY.
  12) That's my final piece of advice. Get AWAY when you can. Getting away with your husband is wonderful, but going with women can be glorious, too. Twice a year was about what we could manage. Yet those experiences were enough to get me through some hard times.

And here's the living proof that I made it through to the other side!

Assembling a Craft Kit for Toddlers

    When my oldest grandchild comes to visit we love to read books, dance to music, play our own music and mess around with a hose and a bucket of water, among other things. We also play endlessly with The Daughter's dollhouse, creating make believe lives for the mother bunny and the two babies who live in the house. The Husband commented to me recently that Little One has already, in her short lifetime, enjoyed the dollhouse far more than The Daughter ever did. When The Daughter and I talked about it, I realized that when Little One or Little Two come to visit, they are my sole priority. The cooking and cleaning and endless list of chores are put on hold until they leave. They have my complete and undivided attention, something I was rarely able to give my four children (I had three under four) when they were growing up. I don't feel bad about it. It was my life as I knew it. But life with grandchildren is different. And I am very thankful for that fact.
   This past week I picked up a few craft items to begin to put together an art box for Little One and Little Two. I don't want to assemble too many items -- just enough to spark the imagination. Here's what I plan to have in my box.

Nonna's Toddler Craft Kit

1. A non-toxic glue stick. This one by Coccoina looks perfect! It has no petroleum or solvents and washes off easily with water. I found a great price at greeapplesupply.org

2. Brightly colored yarn. 

3. Ziplock bags with dyed pasta shapes (mararoni and rotini). I will use these in lieu of wooden beads. I love colored wooden beads, but there is too much of a temptation for these to end up in little mouths. I remember from my preschool days that they are a lot less likely to eat a hard piece of pasta. 

http://www.makeandtakes.com/coloring-pasta-making-necklaces

4. Crayons. I am not going with the typical crayons. I found these amazing soy based (which means they are softer) crayon rocks at the woodenwagon.com. They will be perfect in my craft box.

5. 10 Small Brown lunch bags. You know the garden variety type. Preferably plain and constructed of recycled paper. We will use these for puppets or storage. This Elmo is darling, but he is a lot more complicated that what I have in mind!

6. Assorted colored squares of felt

7. Pom poms and pipe cleaners. I found a good deal on these at gramcoschoolsupplies.com

8. Cotton balls. For clouds, of course, and sheep and hair!

9. 10 paper plates. No explanation necessary!

10. Non-toxic washable markers. I found these at stubbypencilsstudio.com. The nice thing is that if they start to dry out, you simple soak the tip in a little water and they renew themselves!

11. Blunt tip scissors. Apparently, these from Doug and Melissa actually do the trick. So many are too lightweight or too blunt to actually cut a piece of paper. Even though these are safety scissors, they should remain in their special container and only be used under direct supervision. It's just too easy to cut hair or clothes or something else when Nonna is not looking! Available at amazon.com

12. A pack of construction paper, white paper and an assortment of cardboard pieces. Available from amazon.com

13. A fun container! No totes for me! I want something that has a closed top, a handle and a clasp that requires adult assistance to open!  Both of these options are available at The Container Store

Feel free to add additional items to your toddler craft box. I left out paints because we already have an easel available for painting projects. Another tip: if you put a craft box together for your child or grandchild, why not do two? Then you can give one away as a gift. Some lucky mother or Nonna will thank you later!

Here are some pictures of Little One crafting on her last visit to Nonna's. She is assisted by her Pappy, aka The Husband!