Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,
    I am thankful for you. I wish that I had known you longer. Then I could have known for certain that my quirky interest in quantum mechanics, superstring theory, and the existence of black holes came from you along with my tin ear for music and my once incredible memory (age is getting the better of me now). When I was younger I used to look in the mirror, desperately searching for some physical proof of your DNA manifested in the reflection there. Yet, these days when I think of you I find the predominant emotion is mostly a pervasive sense of peace. And for that I am doubly thankful.

   I am thankful for your legacy of honor. I am thankful that a country boy from a small town in southern Alabama with no political connections persevered against all odds to make his dream of attending West Point come true. I am thankful that you swept my mother off her feet 64 years ago and gave her a love that has never faded despite the fact that you have been gone these nearly 52 years.

   I am thankful for my sisters. You and Momma gave me the gifts of a lifetime when Cindy and Julie were born. Thankfully we have matured past our childish propensity to squabble into women who love one another dearly and always have each other's backs. I think you would be proud. When one of us is hurt, we all three hurt. When one of us rejoices, we all three rejoice. It wasn't easy for Momma to raise us after you passed away, but she made the sacrifices of love over and over again without complaint. She has always put our needs above her own, just as she always put your needs above her own. She taught us to honor your memory and she kept close the ties with your parents and sisters. We grew up loving the small town of Opp that you called home. Momma taught us what it meant to be a Scofield and to wear that name with pride.

   I am thankful for the gift of our extended Scofield family: grandparents who loved and adored me, aunts who influenced me and boy cousins who provided relief from a female dominated family structure. Some of my best memories are of riding in the back of Uncle Fred's truck with Russ and Jud bumping over the cow patties in the pasture and laughing with great glee when one or the other of us would fall (on purpose, of course!) off the tailgate to land in the field.

   I am far from the little girl frozen in time in our last family picture. I have been happily married nearly 40 years to a good man. We have four grown children, (three sons and a daughter), and two granddaughters, one grandson and another soon-to-be-born grandson. I even named one of my sons after you, Daddy. His name is David Scofield White. He is tall like you and favors the Scofield side of the family, but oddly enough, it is my youngest whom they say looks the most like you once did. I don't know if that's really true, but it makes me happy to think that it is.

   I am comforted now by the thought of being your child, but for the longest time, I just wanted you back. I just wanted a Daddy. I was the little girl who could never seem to grow past the emotional ties that once bound me to you. But thankfully as the years have gone by, Abba has brought deep healing to my heart. My savior Jesus has bathed me in a grace and mercy that have finally filled the longing that once consumed me. I am also greatly comforted knowing that your faith in Christ Jesus was as important to you as it is to me. I remember watching you read your Bible and how you loved going to the house of the Lord.

   Although I have run from God in seasons of my life, I am thankful that He has never run from me. I am thankful to be both Abba's child and to be your daughter, as well. I believe that we will see one another again in heaven and have the joy of worshipping at the throne of of our Lord side-by-side. I am not sure how all of that is going to work. I am not that little girl anymore, but I still believe that somehow you will know me. I sure hope so. I am looking forward to catching up...

   
Happy Father's Day, Daddy. I will never forget you. I will always be proud to be your daughter.
Love always,
Kathy
 

The Love of the Father

Behold what manner of love the Father has lavished upon us

that we should be called the sons and daughters of the Most High God. 

And thus we are.  I John 3:1

Each of us has some experience as a son or daughter. I daresay each of us has had a father or father figure at some point in our journey. For most of us, it is a crucial relationship and one that carries the mark of imprimatur upon our lives.

I lost my father to cancer when I was but a little girl. It was a defining loss for me, and it seems as though I spent a lifetime looking for that Daddy I lost too soon, wrestling with myself and ultimately with God to find the answers for the hole that kept opening up in my life.

Thankfully, I finally was able to obtain that measure of peace that brought me great freedom (see this post entitled David's Daughter)...it was, at times, a hard fought battle to get to the place where the hurt, the pain of loss, and the deep-seated fear of abandonment would ultimately begin to recede into the distance. It was a long journey, but one that I was required to take in order to move forward as a wife, mother, sister, daughter.

I marvel at times at the different cloth from which each of us is cut. No two alike. Each with his or her own path. His or her own story.

Little One has just turned three. My baby sister was younger than she when our father became terminally ill. It staggers me. I watch Little One as she holds her father's hand. She is so safe and secure in her daddy's love for her. She is totally unafraid when she is with him. She trusts his arms to catch her. His love to secure her. And his faith to guide her to her own.

 

Only he can elicit shrieking, body-shaking laughter from her. Only he gets the most tender of her secret smiles. She has his heart and she knows it. It is a wonderfully confident and trusting kind of love.

I am thankful for a son-in-law who loves his children without restraint and with grace and hope. It bodes well for their future.

All of these quite lovely photographs were taken by Debbie Barnett.